Sunday, 10 December 2017

Blog Reader

It's  been a hard year, with mum dying suddenly in January, leaving my forgetful father constantly asking where she is, but showing little or no emotion when he has to be reminded yet again, along with my useless brother who, at the age of 51, has been looked after by mum all his life and as a result is a stranger to the oven or anything practical around the house. Quite happy to live there rent free, but anything to do with the upkeep, however small, is nothing to do with him.

This has resulted in an unsatisfactory arrangement of myself and my sister travelling hundreds of miles across the length of England each month to stay for a few days each week bar one.
It is depressing when neither of us meet very often, and we have had not an ounce of sympathy from dad or brother, who are just concerned with their own comforts.
So I send my sis photos, as we are forced to sleep on an uncomfortable sofa in the conservatory.
The Christmassy lights I attached to a funny indoor, ornamental bird box my mum bought on a whim when she was out with me at a garden centre.
Its in the conservatory where me and sis sleep, adding a touch of Christmas cheer in an otherwise gloomy house.
When I used to drive up to visit for a week, me and mum would go to a different garden centre each day. By the end of the week she was exhausted but insisted we still go out, as my dad never took the car out and mum didn't drive.
A lot of the time we bought the same things, ornaments for the garden or sun catchers, or wind chimes. Now I see mine as reminders of happier days.
On a more practical note, I have also taken to sending photos of minor domestic achievements in my dad's house, like the clean fridge!

The fridge has a reputation for being a danger zone, scary to open on the first day of a visit for what you might find lurking within. Both my dad and my brother have no sense of smell ( and appear not to notice mould on food either) the fridge is a health hazard, in a ridiculous position where its nigh on impossible to open the door wide enough to get the tray and shelves out.
Quite an achievement to clean it, I felt the need to send a photo to my sis to get a bit of acknowledgement, seeing as my dad and brother did not even notice I was cleaning / had cleaned it.
So, blog entries this year have all but stopped. Blogs to me represent happy memories, and if I don't have any to share I just read others. I rarely comment these days on others posts, because I think they will click my blog and see I have not written anything for months.
I read of people who may also have problems but are battling on. Finding happinesses sometimes when faced with terrible illness. I also keep up to date with the cat stories, and the bloggers who live in the type of remote abodes I can only dream of.
I like to read of self-sufficiency and chickens and beaches and living on a boat, and of visits to historic houses and arty creations, craft fares and junk shop discoveries.
The list is endless. One blog often leads to another, and another....
Passes a few lazy minutes, anyway.

Me (in red) & Mum & sis 

Sunday, 20 August 2017

Still here

A few years ago Blogger and Flickr were my two favourite things on the internet. I had a laptop so blogging was much easier.
When my laptop broke, it was the second one to fail to last more than 3 years. It cost over £300, not a lot by some standards but a lot for me.
We have a desktop computer, but it is not so easy to just have a quick session on the internet with sitting down at a desk and loading it up, plus the fact that m.o.h uses it to listen to horse racing. 
As a stop gap I got a tablet cheap, its a kindle fire but its too heavy and reflective for reading books so I just use it for the internet.

I have a kindle paper white for e-books but I'm finding I'm reading more and more 'real' books recently. Much quicker to pass them on as a recommendation and I enjoy browsing bookshelves far more than trying to find a new author on Amazon website. 
I work in a library. Most of the staff have e-readers as the library has a free e-book service, but we're hearing more and more people are coming back to paper books. Of course, the popular best selling e-books are as expensive as buying an actual book nowadays. 
Anyway. I digress!
I used to love downloading music and creating my own CDs on the laptop. 
I used to love uploading photos from my camera to Flicks. I don't do this anymore.
The kindle fire has a useless built in camera, then offers about 6 separate places to store your photos, so you can always find them until you are on a website and you press the upload button, which inevitability takes you to an unknown file.

Its hard to write this on the tablet as the keyboard hides the words as I am typing.

It's easy to press the wrong letter. Its difficult to get the words to centralise.
Sometimes I press and nothing happens.

So I don't do blogging much. I look at other peoples photos on Pinterest  and Instagram. I read blogs from people who don't have problems I have .

So I've lost a few pastimes I briefly enjoyed, but there's always a book to read, snuggled  up with a cat or three.

Monday, 22 May 2017

Lost in time

I haven't added anything on here this year, and now it's almost half way through.

We had a lovely, quiet Christmas. We drive to our favourite beach and walked, and collected sea glass, fossil crocodile scales and cowrie shells. We also had several early morning visits to a lovely cafe that overlooks one of the Island's ferry terminals. We always managed to get a window-side table, where we could watch the Christmas visitors leaving this lovely place to return to their jobs and daily life.

On New Years Day I rang my mum to wish her Happy New Year. I had gone to bed early, too tired to wait for the fireworks on the TV.  December 31st is the anniversary of my mum and dad's wedding. They went out for a meal! It is a rare event, but they had a lovely meal and my mum sounded full of hope for the new year, with plans for the garden and her hobbies

My mum told me my brother had a bad cold. The doctor said it was a virus, and there was nothing he could do apart from advise to drink water and take paracetamol.
Two weeks later my mum caught the same virus. Knowing what the doctor had said, she didn't bother him with her symptoms.
She died on 17th January.

Since then the weeks have been a blur. Every sunny day I think my mum has missed this. Every new little bird I see in the garden, I cannot tell her about.
Yesterday was my birthday, my first without my mum. No card from my dad, he has memory problems but even if he hadn't , my mum did all the card sending.
On my birthday we went to the cafe overlooking the ferry terminal for the first time since Christmas, and got our favourite seat by the window.

Then we walked on the beach, in the sun.
And now I have written something on here, for the first time this year, and my last entry, about sleepy cats, seems a lifetime away.
Life goes on. The swallows returned. The apple trees blossomed. The leaves emerged from their winter sleep. Flowers bloom. The sun shines. Birds sing.

But a bit of my head is stuck in Christmas still, and the last photo my mum sent me of her small and ancient tree with new lights, pink and blue and looking great!